Saturday, January 30, 2016

January 27, 2016

Full days of classes returned. Mine are engaged and lively, and I am grateful for it, especially since every semester now is a referendum on whether I shall retire or not.
News about the new owner of the Phil Mechanic. Whoever he is, I suppose it means at least upheaval and probably disaster. The River District is so ruined now there can be no lateral move, only out. I responded to the news with a turbulent night in which I had half-dreams of moving out at once, of shutting my studio down and never painting again. Am I any good? Has it all been an expensive vanity? I’d contact the Art Department at school and let the students come and commandeer my supplies. The balance was that I love painting and am happy doing it. Is that a balance? I couldn’t figure it out fully in the chaos of sleep. I rose in the morning and went directly to the studio, where I thought I’d take a few treasured possessions and then give the rest away. Instead I took my coat off and painted. A long time. Blissfully. Well.

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